Day 10, eating again...oops

Yes well looks like we didn't make it to 92 days, hehe. I could make a whole lotta excuses for ending the feast but really we just wanted to. It was starting to consume every waking moment, making juices, straining juices, thinking about making more juices, juices, juices, juices, ahhhhh! So I had some fruit last night and it made me feel fantastic. This morning I had more juice and thought maybe I'd just do juices and fruit for awhile but then I just had to have a bite of Reesh's raw buckwheat granola and then some of her un-tuna and so much for that. Honestly though I think I benefited greatly from just 9 days. That's the longest I've ever gone without food and my body is grateful for it I'm sure. Plus now that we have done this I think it will be something we do again and maybe one day we will go for the whole 92. Eating again will certainly make the end of the month easier. We have 2 raw catering gigs in a few weeks and I was starting to become a little stressed out about them. I am not a recipe follower more of a do it yourself, to taste, kinda gal and I wasn't sure if I could manage making food for people without testing it first. Problem solved. So that's it for the juicing updates but I have found this blog rather fun so perhaps I will continue to enthrall you all with more tales of life in the Goodness household.
To finish off, here is another photo of my darling boy and the shenanigans he was up to this morning with his cousins. Hey, he put the necklace on himself, we just accentuated his choice a little.....

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Day 6

Wow what a difference a day can make or is that a night? I feel freakin fantastic today! Could just be that we all had a pretty decent sleep last night. Whatever the case I'm so happy. When I did my morning exercises I felt so light and nimble and well, juicy. Like all my insides and bones and everything are hydrated for the first time in my life. Incredible. The feelings of love, joy and gratitude are sending shivers through my whole body. This is why I wanted to juice feast in the first place, I have these blissful feelings all the time anyway but I thought that with a clean body they would be much more intense and longer lasting. Oh it's nice to be right some times. If this keeps up I will fly through the next 86 days.
Changes to note:
-Marussia and Rebecca said that my face is looking thinner today and the little pot belly is melting away. Actually I had a moment of reflection where I thought "hey I may never have this cute ponch ever again I should of appreciated it more while it was here!"
Not sure what my weight is, will check tonight at Ma and Paws.
-Dreams. I have heard that while feasting your dreams become more intense and vivid and that was certainly the case last night. A little too "R" rated to go into detail.......hehe. Actually I have never been able to cheat on Duston in my dreams, I'll get to the point of like holding hands with someone and then this feeling of panic comes over me as think what am I doing?? Where is Duston? Let's just say that for the first time in our 6 years of being together that was not the case last night. Nice. The funny thing is it just made me all the more in love and attracted to him today. It doesn't hurt that he is really starting to glow.
Alright well just wanted to jot down these things in case I feel like crap again later. Until then I'm having the best day ever.


Yup looking at this picture I think the girls were right, my chin seems kinda pointy!

Day 5

Well it's been surprisingly hard to write about this adventure so far. My emotions have been all over the map. One minute I'm loving it and the next I am feeling sore and grumpy and mildly depressed. And the chatter inside my head is unbelievable. First I was telling myself that this was the end of all my raw food making days and getting really sad about that. One of my true passions in life is preparing food for people and the thought of losing that was really upsetting for me, like losing my identity. Anyway obviously this is just nonsense because a) I'm sure I will still make food for people when this is all over, maybe just different food and b) I can still love myself even if I never make food again! Oh the ego and it's wiley ways. You don't know how much food runs your life until you try to go without it. The amount of food that we eat everyday is crazy and the amount of food we eat for emotional reasons is just pure madness. We have received 2 different pieces of sad news in the last few days and my first reaction was to eat, eat, eat and I felt like I could justify eating because of the events. But I didn't. We go through our whole lives reaching for food at the slightest spark of feeling because food is so good at dulling everything down. Even raw food. Trying to live in the face of all this feeling is pretty intense, but in the end I hope to overcome these lifelong patterns and start new, healthier ones, ones I can feel good passing on to my son.....
Today was especially rough on the Goodness household as Halen was up pretty much all night. Honestly I think this would be alot easier on the old body if it actually had a chance to rest. Then I was paranoid that maybe my breastmilk was poison from all the toxins I'm clearing out and that's what kept the little guy awake and miserable. Let's hope not. In the long run it seems like he is better off with a few toxins than with a toxic mumma. Also I have not been getting that strong of detox symptoms and do believe that I am fairly clean already so the amounts in the breastmilk should be minimal if any at all.
The symptoms I have been having are:
-a really sore back, I have no idea what thats all about
-dragged down, tired feelings that come and go
-minor coating on tongue and teeth
-signs of a breast infection that lasted for a day
-spaciness, foggy head, unable to concentrate or think cleary
-just kind of an achy body
That's about it really. If I could just get some clarity and more energy I think I will be able to do this. I read today that for every day of juice feasting you un-age yourself 120 days. So by my calculations when this is all over I will be minus 3 years old!?? Freaky.....

Mister H.P

Oh the joy of the first pig tails. I can't wait until his hair is long enough to put in braids, or is that until he patient enough to sit through me putting his hair in braids!

Halen and his rocks. Rocks pretty much rock his world. Rock on brotha.


Fun with paints this morning. The best part was putting it all over his hands and feet and then smearing them on the canvas. He was totally not into the brushes today, but we did make some progress in that he didn't try to eat the paint even once. He's really growing up!

The Night Before

Well this is it I guess. Tomorrow Dust and I start our 92 day juice feast*. I am excited and a bit nervous too. I thought I'd list all my reasons for doing this so I can look at it in times of doubt:
-in all my 4+ years of being raw I've never really done a good cleanse, actually more like in my whole life. I've done 2 day juice fasts and a few one day water fasts, and recently had my first round of colonics but really nothing substantial.
-I would like to eliminate salt from my diet entirely but never seem to be able to do it, I think after this it won't even be an issue. Same for excess fat consumption and raw junk foods like dehydrated treats and too much cacao.
-I want to experience emptiness to become more spiritually full.
-I want to loosen the grip that food has on me, even though I eat raw and have given up alot of foods I still feel like an obsessive compulsive eater most days (eating out of boredom etc.)
-Just to see if I can do it. We are all here to learn and love and experience all that we can so why not experience not eating. I've been filling my belly for 28 years, time to try something different.
I think those are the big reasons. I am so grateful to be going on this journey and even more grateful that Dust will be going on it with me. When I think back to us when we first got together 6 years ago I can't believe how far we've come. Back then it was pretty standard to fill up a coffee mug with beer before noon and go hit Wal Mart for some mindless spending at the expense of small children, smoking weed and cigs along the way, order some pizzas for dinna before boozing it up at the pub and ending the evening with a nice drunken fight. YIKES! Thank pete for all the knowledge we have been blessed to have come across and double thanks for a loving boyfriend who has supported and joined me on my little trip to blissful living. Woohoo!
Anyhoo how bout some stats on me at the beginning of this adventure:
Feb 29 2008
Weight: 113 lbs (kind of guessing as I don't have a scale but this is what I weighed last time I checked at my Moms) Although I do not give a rats ass what I weigh I wouldn't mind losing this little pot belly I've always had...
Eyes: Clear brown with faint dark ring around iris (this ring is supposed to indicate your life force and I am expecting it to become much darker)
Waking: Generally waking these days around 8:30 feeling like crap, could be the lack of sleep due to Halen (our 19 month old restless sleeper) or is it just the late night fatty meals?
Exericse: Almost without fail every morning I do the 5 Tibetan Rites, brisk hike through the woods usually carrying Halen at least once a week, Thai Chi every Tuesday, some rebounding. Wow that's really kind of pathetic, I am really busy these days but I want to really step up the exercise.
Health Issues: Dude I'm a raw foodist..........but to be perfectly honest I have had this lingering semi cold for awhile now and a few weeks ago I got pink eye, what's up with that? Just been feeling a little dragged down lately, once again this is probably due to not getting more than 2 hours of sleep at a time for 19 months but lets see how a clean body deals with this.
Okay so unless I start talking about BMs now (which I have consistently 1-3 times a day, hurray for green smothies) I think that is it.
Wish me motivation and dedication cause here I go....

*A juice feast is where you eat no food but consume at least a gallon of juice a day. Different than a juice fast in which you consume very little juice and go through rapid detox juice feasting is supposed to cleanse you slowly while allowing you enough energy to continue on with everyday activities. You can learn more at www.juicefeasting.com